My greatest fear:
to work a job 56.4 hours a week and drive my car 78.8 miles a day
and save $8.54 on my groceries and 6 cents per gallon on my gas
and to sit at square tables surrounded by ripe minds and cross Xs and Os to move the earth from here to here.
and to care about the football game and the new war that just came out. my opinion is very important, and i give back to this great society.
and to fall half in love with a woman, thinking it's all the love i have to give
and to have a child, accidentally or not. who i'll love dearly, while wholly resenting.
and to raise my child like every other father. because it's the best i can do. because it's the only thing i can do.
and to have yearly checkups with an old doctor younger than me who tells me "fix this and that" but i show no signs of stopping.
and to pay off my monthly bills and give generous donations to the poor. licking 54 envelopes stamping 54 stamps.
and to see god twice a week and my children every other.
to watch them grow from a distance knowing i'm just as useful here as there
and to get promoted to head lead assistant project manager and receive a framed certificate with my name in gold letters.
and to eat expensive food and wear fancy clothes and shake powerful hands and only ever feel empty and naked and weak.
to come home at the end of each day with my fat ass sinking into the sofa and finally smile